No 5: It's rude not to return crap you've borrowed

I'm not too keen on the expression "it goes without saying", especially for things that must be said:  Return crap that doesn't belong to you.

There. That wasn't so hard now was it.

Whether it's a DVD you think we no longer need in the era of streaming or a piece of costume jewelry someone lies about having sentimental value so you remember to return it, people want their stuff back. We shouldn't label them as petty because the cost of the item was insignificant.

It's not the monetary value, it's the principle. Now I know people who say it's about 'principle' are usually talking about money, but I really mean it this time. When this happens to me, I feel like I'm not important enough to be respected and have my belongings returned. I wonder if this is what librarians feel like every time a prepubescent punk keeps a copy of Are you there God, it's me Margaret?

Librarians have feelings, too.
Borrowed from howmayishushyoutoday.blogspot

I know it's hard to return things when they get lost in the shuffle of a busy household. I don't keep a spotless house or take the minimalist approach like my husband and throw everything away because no one's used it in over a year. That's just crazy talk.

Tripping is a consequence from leaving
your crap all over the place.
Borrowed from HSE.gov.uk

You never know when you'll need something (which is exactly what hoarders say after tripping on one of their flower-accented Italian pumps and spraining their left ankle while believing its mate will one day materialize. . . purely hypothetical anecdote by the way).

But when you borrow something, you should show respect and return it before its owner associates you with that drug-addict squatter who scares girl scouts off his corner because he's been there so long unchallenged. You do not get squatters rights to Monty Python's The Life of Brian.

This would probably be a good time to reflect on my unhealthy attachment to insignificant items, show concern over possible hoarding tendencies, or address the petty attitude I've developed while perseverating on why my coworker hasn't returned that pricey and smooth Pilot pen he "borrowed". However, denial in lieu of addressing the fact I may have evolved into a petty asshole will save a lot of time. As a self-actualized person, I'm comfortable with that.